A Long Way From Home
by poppet92
Summary: First fanfic, Bella and Sam. Bella is a kiwi girl a long way from home living in Texas with a past to hide and a future to contemplate. Sam is the likeable farm hand who could be the only one to help heal Bella's heart
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

I drove along the dusty road cranking the radio and enjoying the hot sun beating down on me. My name is Bella Swan and I have been in Texas for the last 3 weeks. I originally came from the other side of the world; New Zealand. I found my way to Texas with a past to hide and a future to contemplate…

**Bella POV**

Driving up the dusty drive, I saw a beautiful ranch style homestead with a wraparound porch and a modern country home-style touch. Pulling up, I thought to myself welcome to Texas Yeeha! .. I hope. As I got out of the rent-a-car, I mentally prepped myself as the front door opened and a lady in her late forties came out.

I had little knowledge about the people I was staying with except a few exchanged emails and my aunts word. The people I was staying with, the Clearwater's, were friends of my aunty's and she had organised me to stay here for free in exchange of my help around the ranch.

"Hi honey, you must be Bella, It's great to finally meet you in person. Leave your gear there and come inside and freshen up, you must be mighty tired. I'll get one of the boys to bring your things in later"

Hi Sue? Thanks, nice to meet you too. I'm glad to finally be here and thanks again for putting me up here" I tried to smile confidently as my insides turned to moosh.

As I walked inside behind Sue, she led me into the kitchen,

"Take a seat dear, can I get you a cold lemonade"

I smiled gratefully, "thank you heaps, I never realised quite how hot is here in Texas, the temperature is so much different back home, my aunt did warn me but it's different when you really get here"

That was all the need be said for Sue to begin asking me everything she could about home. After a while I stifled a yawn.

You must be exhausted dear, let me show you to your room" Sue spoke kindly.

I followed Sue down the hall and upstairs, "thank you once again for having me stay"

"No problem, your aunt and uncle are very good friends of mine and I love catching up ith them whenever they are in the country."

Sue showed me to a gorgeous room that looked out over the farm. The room had a big bay window where I could sit in a watch the night sky roll by. It was decorated with light blue summery tones offset with green trim and ensuite.

"You should find everything you might need to freshen up in the ensuite, let me know if there is anything I can get for you. You'll be able to meet everyone then. I know my daughter alice has been dying to meet you, I know you two will get along just great" Sue said with a smile that reflected her love and pride in her daughter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**Sam POV**

It had been a long but productive day as we rode back to the homestead. Jacob, Embry and I were laughing and carrying on as we met Harry and Seth in the barn.

"We finished the fence on the ridge and all stock is accounted for on the eastern river bank." I had been working for the Clearwater's for nearly four years and was know a senior farm hand and Harry's second in command.

I was 18 when Harry recruited me as a stable hand, in hopes that I would stay out of trouble. I had been a typical reckless youth who thought I was 10ft tall and bullet proof. Harry and my old man had been good friends right up until my dad died when I was 15. My dad and I were always close and he was my hero. When he died I went off the rails, I was hurting and out to hurt the world.

"Thanks Sam" Harry replied, "Alright boys go and have a quick wash up, clean your horses and then head in to the farmhouse, Sue has prepared a BBQ for everyone so we can meet Bella, you boys better be on your best behaviour tonight, we don't want to scare to newbie on her first night here. There will be plenty of time for that later," Harry said, humour evident in his eyes.

Harry was a kindred soul with a golden heart that was bigger than all of Texas. All of the boys that helped on the farm owed Harry their lives in one way or another, something I know we were each eternally grateful for. Harry's son Seth was very much alike his father and never shy to help out wherever needed. If it wasn't for Harry, I know I would have ended up in jail... Or dead by 21.

We all laughed and headed of to get ready for dinner. As I finished scrubbing the muck off my hand, I felt a hard shove to my right. I looked over and seen Jacob with a smirk on his face.

"You feeling lucky punk?" I laughed. Soon enough we were pushing and shoving each other all the way to the farmhouse.

"you might be in charge Sam, but your getting old you know?" might be about time for to step down so someone as awesome as me to fill your boots." Jacob laughed.

"you might have had a growth spurt pup but you still have a long way to if you want to achieve such handsomely rugged looks like mine, especially if you have any hope of takin' Alice to the thanksgivin' dance."

I looked up to see Jacob blush and tackled him to the ground once more.

"You boys best not be thinkin' your coming inside my house all filthy like that"

We both looked up to see Sue standing in the doorway, hands on hips, smile on face.

"Yes ma'am" Jacob and I replied.

"Now you boys know we have company so you mind your selves, Sam Can you take this luggage up to the guest room upstairs and let Bella know dinner is almost ready"

"No problem Sue" I took off my boots and headed on up to Bella's room.

The door was shut as I approached so I knocked carefully on the door. As the footsteps came closer and the door opened, I was greeted by the prettiest pair of eyes I had seen in a long time.

"Hi uh... Sue asked me to bring your bags up and let you know that dinner was ready" I rushed out.

If it was possible, her blush got even redder and she smiled. "Thank you I'll be down soon." She replied while reaching for her bags. I handed them over and headed back down stairs.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Sorry about the delay went to stay with my nana and help her then came back to major writers block.. not sure about this chapter.. please review and let me know your thoughts shout out to TwilightSVU first and only re3view so far! Thanks heaps**

***heads up to those that are following, I hope things aren't too confusing, I have no set plan in this story, just that it's a Bella/Sam fanfic. Twilight is owned by Stephanie Meyer but I have temporarily borrowed her characters and will alter them accordingly. **

Chapter Three

**Bella POV**

As I opened my bedroom door I had one thought.. WOW everything is really bigger in Texas! I was pretty sure I was staring at the man giant who knocked and immediately I felt myself grow hot, blushing.

"Hi uh... Sue asked me to bring your bags up and let you know that dinner was ready"

I felt myself blush even more, if that was possible; "Thank you I'll be down soon." I replied as I grabbed my bags quickly. As he turned to back downstairs, I put my bags up in the bed. "I'll sort them out later" I thought to myself.

I took a few deep breaths before heading downstairs for dinner. I have no idea what to expect and hoped everyone was as friendly as Sue…

As I reached the bottom step I rounded the corner following the sounds of laughter and drawling cowboys. As I walked into the room, a pixie launched herself at me, hugging with all her might.

"Oh my god! Hi Bella I'm soo glad you're finally here, I've been dying to meet you in person! Do you like shopping? Can you ride horses? We are definitely gonna be best friends!"

I jumped slightly worried but smiled anyway, "Hi Alice? Lucky I don't scare easy huh?"

I looked up blushing when I heard muffled laughter and seen eyes were on me and Alice. Sue spoke up quickly, preventing Alice to further verbally assault me. She seemed really nice and I hoped we could be friends. It was just going to take a while to get used to the hyped up Texas pixie.

"Alice" she scolded, smiling. "Settle down or you'll scare Bella back to New Zealand!"

At this Alice, looked up at me and smiled. Sue turned and began introducing me to everyone else in the room. "Ok y'all as you can guess this is Bella. Bella meet my husband Harry"

I reached out to shake his hand, Harry had a warm smile under his rough exterior and he reminded me a lot of my dad. "Nice to meet you sir, thank you again for letting me stay here."

"You're more than welcome Bella; it's a pleasure to have ya here with us."

One by one the other guys in the room introduced themselves and I felt myself blush once more when I was properly introduced to Sam, the man giant who delivered my bags to my room.

After introductions, Alice attached herself to my arm and with what I was starting to suspect as her usual hyper activeness, offered me a cool lemonade. I accepted gratefully and began listening to her talk while the others around us continued with their conversations, previous to my entrance.

Throughout dinner I quietly observed everyone in the room hoping to gain some sort of knowledge about them. It became plain to see that everyone here was very close. Momentarily, I felt as though I was the outside intruder on some precious private family and it made me think back on my own family.

I was an only child and my parents had separated five years prior when I was sixteen in a messy divorce. My father Charlie was police chief of small town Forks and was married to my mother Renee. They had married when my mum was 21. Looking back now, I'm amazed they managed to survive as long as they had, but I suppose that opposites attract.

My father is a man of few words, loves sport and doesn't really show much emotion. He has always been an outdoorsy person, and was disappointed to find out his only child was to uncoordinated to safely participate in sports of any kind. My mum was a modern day hippy constantly tried new things. She was wacky enough and we were very close before the divorce. However, things change and so does time and people.

I was broken out of my thoughts by Seth, similar to his sister, sharing her same friendly personality but on a much more manageable level. "So Bella tell us about New Zealand?" I immediately blushed when I noticed that everyone had their eyes trained on me. "uh.. well what do you all wanna know?" immediately I had questions thrown left, right and centre.

"Did you have a boyfriend? You never told me if you liked to shop" Alice squealed.

"What was your life like?"

"Do you ride horses?"

"What made you decide to come to Texas?"

"Do you all have funny accents?"

I laughed as I held up my hands for everyone to stop. "When my aunt was telling me about Texas, she never told me how pushy you are." I commented smiling. "Now, I will answer everyone's question if you just give me a chance."

"Wow are all New Zealand girls as feisty as you?" Jacob piped up.

I smirked at Jacob and said, "Let's hope you never find out"

**SAM POV**

As usual Sue made enough dinner to feed a small nation. Sue was such a great motherly figure to all of us boys on the ranch. I sat there quietly after dinner, trying to not look at Bella. She was gorgeous and I was embarrassed that I made such a fool of myself when I took here bags up earlier.

Throughout dinner, I noticed that she seemed like a quiet girl, she didn't seem to like being the centre of attention and blushed furiously almost constantly. When everyone bombarded her after dinner with questions about.. well everything, I was surprised when she spoke up in such a commanding way, without raising her voice she had demanded everyone's attention and patience as she tried her best to make her way through the endless questions.

I couldn't help but smirk when she answered Jake, and thought that maybe I had judged her too fast. I decided that I would sit back and watch the ongoing inquisition, trying to hold my humour in all the while.

"Alice" she started, " no I don't have a boyfriend and I only shop when I absolutely necessary, my staple fashion is flat shoes, jean and tee." Alice's shocked and horrified expression made the rest of us laugh, while Bella looked slightly concerned and blushed again. Alice sputtered and went to argue and defend her religion when Sue gave her a pointed look. At once Alice shut her mouth but I was certain she muttered something about educating Bella properly. I smiled to myself, knowing that Alice had just found a new purpose in life, and I sympathised with Bella.

Bella continued on with her answering, " I've never really ridden horses before, where I grew up there wasn't really any around." As I looked around there was a few unsure faces while the rest, mainly Harry, Jake and myself looked rather humoured at the idea of watching Bella ride.

"Are you serious?" exclaimed Seth "You came to Texas and you don't know how to ride a horse?"

Bella just shrugged and continued. "I came to Texas to experience something new and completely different… and yea all kiwi's talk like this.. it's you Texans that have the funny accents" she said laughing.

The night continued much along the same lines until, everyone started to yawn. We said our goodnights and headed to bed. When I got back to my cottage, I lay in bed, with thoughts of Bella running through my mind. I had decided to withhold all judgement of her from now on and surprise myself the more I get to know her.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: thanks to those who left reviews and thanks to those that have waited ever so patiently. Lots of love to Jasper's Black Widow and yay to my Beta Kouga's Older Woman.**

**Enjoy please review and let me know what you think**

**BELLA POV**

As I walked up the stairs with Alice trailing behind, I was looking forward to my bed and excited about what tomorrow would bring. When I made it to my door, I turned to Alice "Goodnight Pixie"

"Goodnight Bells, tomorrow we will take a look around the ranch and get you set up with a horse. I can't wait to finally have another girl around here; it's going to be so much fun!"

I laughed, I could tell that Alice or Pixie as I had aptly dubbed her, and I would be good friends, something I was quite excited about. I turned and walked into my room and suddenly remembered that I still had to unpack but decided it could wait until tomorrow.

I lifted everything on to the floor quietly, rummaging around for my pyjamas. I changed clothes, then walked into my bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth.

Crawling into bed, I was greeted with the comfortable warmth and softness that reminded me of home. I briefly thought about everything back home before letting my mind wander to tonight, the people I met. Sue, Harry, Alice, Sam, Jake Seth, Embry.

Sue seemed lovely; she was definitely mother to everyone on the ranch. She had a sweet caring personality and a good natured charm about her. It was obvious that her and Harry were perfect for one another, where Sue was sweet, kind and caring in an obvious way, Harry seemed more refined when expressing such emotion but it was clear to see his love for his family radiating off him.

The boys seemed to admire Harry with something akin to a more familial respect, than that of an employer and his workers.

Seth was this great combination of both his parents with the strong work ethic and loyalty of Harry but the caring, sweet nature of Sue. He and Alice were almost polar opposites, Alice was a dainty ball of energy.

The entire Clearwater family had welcomed me into their home and their lives with open arms, would they react the same way if they knew what lead me to travel to the other side of the world?

Jake, Embry and Sam seemed very similar but different at the same time. They all held knowledge of life behind their eyes and their physiques showed their hard work ethic. They all shared a joking attitude and felt completely at home with the Clearwaters. However, after watching everyone tonight it was clear to see that despite their similarities, the three boys also had very different personalities.

Jake was loud with a cheeky grin. He was blunt and innocently flirtatious until he looked at Alice. I watched how his eyes lingered and cheeks tinged red lightly when would smile at him. It was sweet to see the pixie completely oblivious to Jacob's fascination with her. He almost mimicked her every move, never hesitating with his Texan charm in silent hope that she would notice him.

Embry seemed to be the most laidback and carefree of the three. It was plain to see that the boys were very close. Embry had an easy smile that made you think of your little brother, the one you could pour your heart and soul to and know that your secrets were always safe with him. He was the guy to have on your side whenever things turned to shit. His eyes showed a fierce loyalty that silently reassured you that no judgment would pass through them.

I had purposefully saved Sam until last so as to savor every last detail. He was the oldest of the three, the leader of their tight little wolf pack. He sat back, watching and observing everything around him while silently declaring his leadership. His eyes. I could get lost in his eyes; they held the depth of experience, both good and bad. If I looked too long into his green orbs I could feel myself drowning and drawn into his soul.

His taut muscles rippled underneath his clothes and you instantly knew he held more than just brute strength. I let my mind wander to more exotic places imagining running my hands over his tight abs and feeling his arms holding me in place whether it be against his chest or a bed.

His face held one the sexiest mouths I had ever seen, with lips that begged to be kissed, and a smirk that made any girls' panties wet. His hands were big and calloused from working outside and I wondered how good they would feel against my skin.

I felt my eyelids grow heavy and let my mind unwind as I drifted to sleep, silently hoping that I wouldn't be plagued my nightmares but at the same time knowing that this was an indulgent thought.

I woke in a panicked sweat as the painful reminders once again haunted my dreams. I rolled over and seen that it was not quite 4am. Knowing that I wasn't going to sleep again tonight, I quietly got out of bed and walked into the bathroom.

After washing the sweat off my body in the shower, I stood in front of the mirror gazing over my tired face with a resigned feeling. I decided to get dressed and go for a walk to try and free my mind of memories of my previous life and prepare for the new day that would hopefully bring about a new life.

**SAM POV**

I lay in bed, my hair still damp from my shower, listening to the sounds of the night outside. My mind focused on Bella. I was looking forward to getting to know her as much as I could. There was something about her that begged me to learn all about her.

I had enjoyed my night and I didn't fail to notice that Bella had very carefully avoided talking about anything personal about her life back New Zealand. I had made a point of sitting back tonight and observing Bella interacting with everyone.

I knew that we were all sitting there watching how Bella would react to everyone tonight. I was amazed to see how Bella had managed to click so well with everyone. It was as if she had captured all of our hearts in a single night and that alone meant a lot to me. I had a feeling that she was soon going to become an integral part of our family.

I watched how Alice's eyes lit up knowing she would no longer be the only girl on the ranch and I know that she her mind was racing at 100 miles an hour with excitement over having a new best friend and sister.

Seth was just as excited at the thought of having another sister, one that was potentially a lot calmer than his current one. Alice and Seth were close and Seth had always been her calming effect but now with Jake on the scene, I knew that Seth was starting to feel a little less important. Seth was happy for Jake but having a new sister to spend time with meant a lot to him.

Sue was always happy to take on another person, and was quick to make them feel welcomed into the family. Sue had beamed when she found out that Bella loved being in the kitchen, cooking and baking. Something that Alice had never taken to with too much enthusiasm, she would much rather be riding or shopping.

As long as I had known Harry, he has been devoted to his family and I was pleased to see his eyes light up at Bella's positive impact on his family.

Jake, Embry and I had always been close like brothers, Jake was the player and Embry was the one we could always talk to. It was refreshing to see Bella was not the kind of girl to giggle at Jake's very presence and I had to suppress a snort when she firmly put him in his place with a friendly laugh. Embry was much like Seth and didn't judge, he would make sure that him and Bella got along, not that I could see it being a problem, everyone loved Embry.

Throughout the night I had watched Bella, transfixed by her natural beauty, it was that which had left me mumbling and stuttering when I had taken her bags up to her. She wore very minimal make up and looked completely at ease dressed in a casual outfit. I watched as she confidently held her ground throughout the night answering questions, laughing and talking with everyone.

I discovered tonight that Bella was a fascination and not just because she's hot. Even though, there are so many little things about her that make me get hard just thinking about them. But as I watched her brown eyes light up when she spoke and laughed, I could see that hidden in the depths of her eyes she was hurting and I wanted to kiss away that hurt and rub away the dark circles under eyes.

As she talked I watched her mouth moving, licking my lips when I thought about kissing them, stealing away her breath, hearing her moan out my name.

I closed my eyes imagining her perky breasts that swelled under her t-shirt, the perfect size for her petite frame. I started rubbing myself as I thought about her pert arse and how it would feel in my hand. I wanted to feel her wet pussy on my fingers, clenching them as I made her cum.

As I imagined this I rubbed myself harder, letting out a quiet groan. I continued to fantasize about Bella and how sweet her little pussy would taste on my tongue. Her long legs looked good in the jeans she had on tonight, but I knew they would look and feel a lot better wrapped around me as I pounded into hearing her moaning out my name. It was this thought that tipped me over the edge and I came over myself.

When I was finished, I climbed out of bed, made my way back to the bathroom where I wiped myself down and decided that I needed a cold shower before going to sleep.

I woke up at 3am with a start, I was used to surviving on limited sleep and I knew that it was no use trying to go back to sleep so I got up and went into the bathroom. After making some coffee and waking up properly, I got dressed and decided to head over to the stables.

**Please review and let me know what you all think thanks again to Jasper's Black widow and Kouga's Older Woman xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

**AN:**Hello lovely people, thank you for being so patient and waiting. I took an undecided hiatus to get my mind focused but thanks to my fav girls I'm back on track. I'm also hoping to start a regular weekly update so I stay on task. I have no idea where this chapter is going to take me but let's find out shall we…..

**BELLA POV**

Before I left my room I decided to grab my camera and see what moments I could capture at this hour of Texas. For as long as I can remember I have always enjoyed photography, it has been a passion of mine and a way to escape; whether it is from stress or memories of a past I was trying to forget.

I headed downstairs as quietly as I could and put my shoes on when I got outside. I started off my walk looking around the homestead, snapping pictures of everything I could find.

I loved the old style of the house in its luxuriousness and homeliness. I made my way slowly towards the barn; the light was just beginning to show. As I walked into the back room I inhaled deeply, savouring the rich earthy smell of horse and summer wind. The leathery scent filled my nostrils and left an eased sense of peace settling over me.

I continued to walk around and spotted the ladder up to the hay storage on the other side. Pulled my camera strap over my neck and carefully began climbing the ladder.

When I reached the top I walked to the window and snapped a shoot of the lightening sky, relishing in the tranquillity of the moment. I let my mind wander, thinking about home, my heart twinged as I thought about my family. I quickly shut those thoughts out and took a couple of deep breaths, focusing on where I was feeling a renewed sense of adventure about my time in Texas.

I climbed back down the ladder and made my way outside; as I rounded the corner I stopped short and admired the scene before my eyes. Sam was in the training arena whispering softly to a skittery mare. She didn't seem very old and her soft grey coat contrasted sweetly against the tanned and toned body of Sam.

Without thinking I grabbed my camera and snapped away. I felt rude standing here hidden in the semi shadows, photographing what seemed to be an intimate bonding moment between Sam and the horse but I didn't have the heart to interrupt.

I continued admiring the scene through my lenses, watching in awe at the majestic strength of the mare and Sam's soothing reassurance. I couldn't hear what he was saying but a part of me didn't want to…

**SAM POV**

I made my way out to the stables not bothering with any light, I knew my way around every inch of the ranch like the back of my hand, and it was imprinted into my soul.

As I made my way into the stable I walked down where the beautiful grey mare was housed. I reached in carefully and gently stroking Lady cooing softly to her while I put her halter on and leading her into the training arena.

I began slowly walking her around making sure to stay calm and quiet, Lady was a very timid horse with a background filled with mistrust and hurt. As I continued to work her, I fell into a natural rhythm and felt easy and at peace. I lost myself in the beautiful horses imposing beauty; her strength was unique and sped her up into an easy trot whispering encouragement to her.

I soon lost myself in thoughts of Bella, she truly intrigued me, I had met her aunty and uncle when they had stayed here from time to time and I wondered how close they were, Bella seemed different from them. I thought about her eyes, they captivated me, you could see right into the depths of her soul and it was almost like they were begging me to explore them deeper.

I was broken out of my reverie as Lady nudged my shoulder softly nuzzling my pocket. Apparently her patience for her morning treat had worn off and I laughed quietly, "I'm so sorry pretty lady, have I been neglecting you of attention for too long? You are doing so well Lady, you are."

I reached into my pocket pulling out a small handful of oats. As I fed her I rubbed her neck with my free hand talking softly in a tone barely above a whisper, Lady was easily spooked and needed a constant gentle affection.

It had taken me weeks to get her this comfortable with me and as it was I was the only that could get this close to her. I had always seemed to hold a natural affinity with horses and have always felt such a sense of peace and comfort around them.

**BELLA POV**

After watching Sam and the grey mare or what seemed like an age, I turned to leave and head back to the house. However as I turned I tripped over a bucket and cursed out loud, "oomph, shit, ouch" I grumbled bending over to rub my shin, muttering to myself.

"Bella? What are you doing out here so early?" I jumped and turned back around to face Sam, I had forgotten he didn't know I was watching him. "_I guess he knows now," _I thought as I felt my blush creeping up my neck.

"Oh… ah… hi Sam, um… sorry to disturb you, I was uh… just heading back to the house now."

"How long have you been out here? Do you realize that everyone else won't be awake for at least another two hours?" Sam asked walking over.

"Yea I know, I don't need much sleep and I think I might still have a little bit of jetlag. I didn't mean to interrupt, I can leave if you want" I said feeling embarrassed at being caught out, this is not how I wanted my first day to start.

"_Oh God, I hope he can't tell I was thinking about him last night! Don't be stupid Bella, how can he tell? Oh I don't know, oh great I'm internalizing conversations with myself now…"_

**SAM POV**

I turned swiftly when I heard someone swearing behind me at the same time that Lady jumped, I quickly raised a hand to soothe her.

"Bella? What are you doing out here so early?" I wondered.

"Oh… ah… hi Sam, um… sorry to disturb you, I was uh… just heading back to the house now.""

"How long have you been out here? Do you realize that everyone else won't be awake for at least another two hours?" I asked walking over.

"Yea I know, I don't need much sleep and I think I might still have a little bit of jetlag. I didn't mean to interrupt; I can leave if you want."

I shook my head slightly and smiled, this woman is gorgeous when she blushes. "Na Bella you're more than welcome to hang around, I didn't realize you were here at all. How long have you been standing here?" I asked, I watched as her blush seemed to deepen even more.

She paused for a while and I had to hold myself back from laughing. She seemed to get more embarrassed when I asked again. After watching her put Jake in his place last night, it is surprising to see her so sensitive and shy. Suddenly, I had an idea.

"Hey, wanna come meet a special lady?"

Her face contorted as confusion swept over her, I laughed and pointed in Lady's direction, I remember Bella saying she didn't know how to ride a horse last night at dinner and I had a feeling that her and Lady would get along great. I grabbed her hand, enjoying the feel of her skin, it was as soft as I imagined last night.

Suddenly thoughts from last night came flashing back; I cleared my throat quickly and pushed those thoughts away. What was wrong with me? I didn't even know the girl that well!

**BELLA POV**

When Sam took my hand to lead me over to Lady I felt my heart jump into my throat, his hands felt just like I had hoped they would. I could feel the familiarity of my blush rising up and setting my cheeks on fire. I looked down at the ground and watched my feet as Sam cleared his throat.

We walked slowly over to Lady, the grey mare. She was even more beautiful up close. I reached out hesitantly to stroke her nose, Sam looked at me encouraging with a smile and I felt my middle melt.

"Lady" he spoke softly, "I want you to meet Bella" I smiled at Sam talking so humanly to the horse and continued stroking her neck. I went to wrap my other hand around her when I realized it was still wrapped in Sam's hand and immediately blushed again.

She nudged me with her head and I jumped back in surprise laughing.

"Wanna feed her Bella?"

"Can I? She really is beautiful; do you think she would mind me taking some photos?" I didn't tell him it was a little too late for that.

"Yea I don't see why not. What do you think pretty Lady?" she nuzzled him impatiently waiting for her food.

I laughed and began snapping away taking pictures. Sam and I fell into an easy and safe conversation, talking about Lady and life on the farm. I was thankful he stayed away from home.

Soon enough the light had come up and we started to head back to the homestead. I walked beside Sam as he led Lady back to the stables, I watched transfixed as he brushed her down, occasionally taking more photos. Sam stepped out from brushing down Lady and suddenly took my camera out of my hands.

"Wha... I can stop if you want? I didn't realize it was bothering you. I tend to get carried away with my camera… I seem to live through it... it's amazing what the lens can catch that we sometimes forget to see" I rambled out quickly feeling embarrassed that I had overstepped the mark.

Sam however, just laughed,

"No Bella I have no problem with you taking photos, however I have decided to make it my personal mission to teach you everything there is to know about horses and that begins with basic grooming."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to Lady, suddenly I felt quite nervous, I could feel him standing only slightly behind me. He had his hand over mine showing me how to brush Lady. My heart was racing at his close presence and his warmth seeping through me.

After my 'grooming session' we headed inside and washed up. As we walked in the back door we were greeted by Sue, Harry, and Seth.

"Well good morning you two" Sue said looking up from the kitchen, "I was just making coffee would you like a cup?"

"Yes please Sue"

"What are you doing up so early Bella? I thought you would have slept in a bit."

"Oh I don't need much sleep so I went out for a walk around the barn this morning and Sam was kind enough to introduce me to my first horse, Lady" I replied, smiling at Sam while Sue handed me my coffee. Apparently that was all Harry needed before going into today's plans around the ranch with Sam and Seth. I sat back enjoying my coffee and chatting with Sue.

**Alright there you have chapter five people. Please Read & Review. Also on my profile I have set up a poll on whether the characters should remain human or supernatural so please vote. Lots of love xxxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

**SAM POV**

Standing in the Clearwater kitchen sipping my coffee, I absently listened to Harry and thought about this morning at the stables with Bella. I let out a small smile remembering that Bella had never actually ridden a horse before or met one prior to today.

I was surprised at how well her and Lady got along and could foresee camaraderie between these two special women. I hadn't seen animal and person bond so quickly since my father and his mare when I was a young boy. It took me by surprise but I could see that there was more to Bella than met the eye and it seemed that her bravado with Jake last night was just a glimpse into this beautiful kiwi girl was like. She seemed to be hiding something in her eyes that spoke to your soul. Like Lady, Bella's eyes betrayed the hurt and pain she had suffered in her past even if her mouth spoke of no such things. The only thought I had was, what or who is Bella running from and what could have made her run so far from home?

I looked up as I heard my name; it was Sue, asking if I wanted more coffee. I looked down and noticed that while I let my thoughts rattle through my brain; I had emptied my cup and gladly accepted another from Sue. I spoke up to Harry and Sue, filling them in on Lady's progress, "actually Bella joined us this morning and I think it would be good for her and Lady if she became my apprentice of sorts working with Lady. Bella is the only other person that Lady has allowed as close as me and they responded well, you should have seen it, when Bella walked Lady around the pen it was almost as if they mirrored each other, I haven't seen horse and person meant for each other like these two before. I don't see a better way for Bella to learn the ins and outs of handling horses that is if Bella is agreeable of course."

As I had thought, Harry and Sue agreed it was a good idea and both were pleased that Lady seemed to like Bella. Lady was unresponsive to anyone other than me and I knew of Harry's concerns for the horse.

**BELLA POV**

As I leant against the breakfast bar nursing my hot coffee, I thought about this morning Sam looked so strong and bulky but watching him working Lady, it was plain to see that he was a gentle, patient man and Lady responded so well. Lady was no more a skittery horse with Sam's steady hand. I knew that both would be prevalent muses in my photos. Lady was a majestic creature with a soft nature and eyes that reflected the same painful secrets I carried with me and I couldn't wait to spend more time with her. I looked up as Sue poured Sam another coffee, and listened as he told Harry and Sue about his progress with her, I smiled as he spoke of her impatience for her morning treats and her positive improvements.

When Sam mentioned that he wanted me to apprentice with Lady, I didn't know if I wanted to agree or run in the other direction. I had no idea about horses how was I supposed to benefit a horse with as many painful memories as me? Sue pulled me out of my reverie, "Oh Sam that's a wonderful idea, I'm so pleased Lady is improving. However, it really is up to Bella." At that, Embry walked in, "what's up to Bella?" This time it was Harry who spoke up, "it seems Bella here has made an unlikely friend in Lady and Sam reckons that she'd be good working with her." Embry looked at me in surprise, "Really? Wow that's great Bella, are ya gonna do it?" I smiled, "Why not? And Lady really is a gorgeous horse; I can't wait to spend more time with her. When do I start?" The others laughed and Sam smiled, "Harry can get the other boys to help on the farm for the morning and we can get started after breakfast if you want."

**BELLA POV**

As promised Sam and I headed to the stables after breakfast, me with camera in tow as usual. Sam showed me how to put the lead and halter on Lady and lead her around the arena, he stood behind or to the side of me guiding me through the paces as I gently coaxed Lady into a trot. The morning went in without a hitch until we heard a yell followed by a stream of swearing echo out of the nearby barn, and as Sam went to see what was happening I was suddenly aware that it was just me and Lady. As I squashed down the sheer panic that was bubbling inside my stomach I walked up to Lady crooning gently easing her and myself. Standing at her neck I stroked her softly as I whispered into her hair, "you beautiful girl, it's alright Lady" in my best soothing voice, "No need to worry girl, I'm here now it will be alright, I don't know what has happened but I can tell your scared girl, but it will be ok, We're kindred spirits I would say Lady, I can see it in your eyes, you share the same pain and hurt I do. Its ok I won't tell, we're running together aren't we? That right girl, together will conquer all." I was feeling more confident and I could tell Lady was more at ease as I continued murmuring words only we could here. In our moment of solidarity I didn't hear Sam return until he came to a stop behind me.

Leaning over to stroke Lady's nose and smirking, "I knew you two would work well together." I responded smartly, "Lady and I get each other don't we girl? What happened in the shed?" I watched as Sam ran his fingers through his hair to pull his too long fringe out of his eyes, " Jake slipped in the hay attic and knocked the ladder down stranding himself up there by accident" he said laughing. I couldn't help but snigger, somehow that didn't surprise me for Jacob, I had a feeling antics like this were very prominent where he was concerned. I jumped in surprise when I heard Jacob call out from the fence "I take offense at being the butt of your jokes Sam Uley but if I'm responsible for making a beautiful woman blush, it's my pleasure." Without a second thought I snorted, "pfft, if only your coordination was as developed as your ego you might have saved yourself some embarrassment." I called out teasingly as I looked over at Jacob. At this Sam coughed in a rush trying to cover his laugh but failed all the same and even Jacob cracked a smile.

**SAM POV**

Working with Bella this morning and helping her with Lady was easy and I could see this quickly turning into my favourite part of the day. Bella was a great student and Lady responded to her well. I knew it wouldn't be long until Lady was ready to be ridden again but until then I planned on taking Bella out on one of the spare stock horses. I knew that the gang would most likely be going for a swim at the dam tonight and it would be a good chance for Bella to see a bit of the ranch and practice her riding. Although Lady was a gentle horse she would need a reasonable confident rider if she was ever going to return to the majestic horse she had been.

Suddenly Jakes yell pulled me out of my thoughts and as followed his swearing, I wondered if I should have left Bella and Lady alone. I reached the shed and seen that Jacob had stranded himself in the hay loft after somehow knocking the ladder to the barn floor. As Jake looked down, red in the face from swearing I had to restrain a laugh. "When you've finished laughing jackass mind handin' the ladder up so I can get down?" I picked up the ladder and leaned it against the hay loft so Jake could climb down, "it never ceases to amaze me how you get into that kind of situation Jake, you are by far the most uncoordinated farm hand I know" I called laughing as I walked back to the arena.

As I rounded the corner, I stopped sharp causing Jake to bump into me, I turned and put my fingers to my lips as I picked Bella's camera off the post and quickly snapped a shot of her and Lady entwined by hands and manes, I wondered what Bella was murmuring to Lady and headed over to see how she was. I couldn't help but admire Bella as she laughed at Jakes antics and turned quickly in surprise when Jake yelled out, "I take offense at being the butt of your jokes Sam Uley but if I'm responsible for making a beautiful woman blush, it's my pleasure." I rolled my eyes at Jake's never ending plight of bad one liners but couldn't contain my laughter as Bella cut him down to size without as much as a blink; "pfft, if only your coordination was as developed as your ego you might have saved yourself some embarrassment." Even Jake had to smile at that. Luckily Sue called out across the way that lunch was ready so Bella and I left Lady in the arena and headed back to the house where no doubt Alice was lying in wait.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

**BELLA POV**

As we walked into the kitchen for lunch our noses were assaulted with a combination of smells that would make your mouth water and stomach curdle at the same time.

"It smells like Alice has been helping in the kitchen again" Sam groaned and even Jake paled considerably.

I didn't know what to expect but from the expressions on the boy's faces I was worried.

"Bella!" Alice exclaimed jumping up and hugging me. Almost instantly Alice trundled at a hundred miles an hour again "Mum and dad told me you have been helping Sam with Lady? How was it? Did you like it? What did you think of your first horse? Oh I'm so excited I know I'm gonna love you like a sister! Yay I can't wait til we finally get to take you riding!"

Thankfully Sue interrupted by calling us to the table, "We can talk over eating Alice" and as we sat down, Alice placed herself beside me and began heaping piles of what I think was meant to be a hot bake of some sort.

"Here Bella eat this and let me know what you think, I made it especially for you, its asparagus, cheese, cucumber and sausage."

I looked down at my plate and then around the table, Seth and Sue looked at me apologetically. I grabbed my fork and slowly tasted the bake; "hmm I said it's not that bad" Alice looked so disappointed that I quickly began shovelling food in mouth.

"Do you like it Bella? Really? No one else here eats my food very often, I think my exotic tastes scare them. Can you cook Bella?"

I swallowed down a mouthful of water before I spoke, "Yea I cook, and I did a lot of cooking and baking. Want me to teach you sometime?"

Alice grinned "That would be cool, but I don't usually spend much time in the kitchen, I'd much rather be riding or shopping. Which reminds me, tell me about your morning in the arena? How was Lady?"

As I spoke of the morning Sam and I had, I noticed that once again all eyes were on me.

Seth was the first to comment on Lady and I, "That's really great Bella, if you want I can take you out after lunch and can teach you how to ride? We can make an afternoon of it and I can show you around a bit if you like? I'm sure Dad doesn't need me with Sam helping."

"Well I was going to help clear up after lunch and unpack my bags" I responded quickly, being near Lady and riding another horse were two entirely different things and I wasn't sure I was up for the challenge just yet.

Sue just shook her head, "go along darl, Alice can stay behind and help clear up and your bags will be waiting when you get back."

Alice jumped in "I can help you with your luggage when you get back Bella, surely you have something fashionable in your wardrobe that I can't wait to see" she spoke hopefully.

Knowing that I'd been outvoted, I nodded, "Yea alright then Seth, looks like I'll be getting my first riding lesson today too."

I looked to Alice's hopeful eyes and knew that she was going to be bitterly disappointed when she realised my wardrobe was more replica's of what I was wearing.

**SETH POV**

I was looking forward to teaching Bella how to ride, I knew that we were going to get along great and I had already chosen the horse for her to ride.

Torrent was my training gelding, with a placid nature and a mahogany coloured coat. I wanted to know more about Bella after listening to her last night and at lunch.

I admired her willpower at conquering whatever it was Alice has conjured for lunch. None of us ever ate anything she made unless it was absolutely vital. It was good to have another girl around the ranch.

_After we had all eaten, and Alice was busily clearing the table, I stood up, "ready_ to go cowgirl?" Bella looked over to me, "let's get this show on the road."

We fell into step together and headed to the stables, "how are you finding the ranch so far? Did you enjoy working with Lady this morning?"

Bella looked to me as she replied, "I'm still finding my feet but so far so good. Lady is a beautiful horse and Sam works so well with her."

As we approached the stables, I led Bella near the end, where Torrent was kept. "You'll love him" I said, "He's a big old softy."

I watched as Bella peered through the open half door of the stable at Torrent, "He's huge!" she gasped "and you expect me to ride him?"

I laughed at her, "Here take this" Handing her a carrot, "Torrent won't hurt you, just treat him like you do Lady and you will get along great."

**BELLA POV**

When Seth led me to the stable and introduced me to Torrent I began to panic standing near a horse was one thing but riding… Torrent was huge! What happened if he didn't like me?

I idly wondered if I could make a break back to the homestead but I knew it was hopeless. I refused to give in, it was time to man up and pull my big girl panties on.

I moved up close and patted the geldings mahogany neck while feeding him, he seemed nice enough. As Seth brought in the halter and lead rope, I asked if I could do it myself, "better to know what I'm up against" I laughed nervously.

After we haltered Torrent we led him into the same arena Sam and I had put Lady in this morning. I watched as Seth saddled the horse up, with impending doom sitting heavy in the pit of my stomach.

"Ready cowgirl?" Seth said smiling.

"Um… I don't think this is such a good idea Seth, I'm not the most coordinated person and Torrent, well, he's as big as a house!"

Seth just laughed, "Ya know insulting a horse's weight is never great for their confidence and anyhow Torrent here is as timid as a kitten, he barely makes it out of the stable with his eyes open on a good day. You'll be fine, I promise."

I looked from Seth to Torrent and back again, doubt still lingering in my throat, "you'll catch me if I fall and stop the horse as soon as he looks like he's going to bolt or come down with mad cows?"

Seth snorted, "Mad cows? Bella I think your in the wrong country if your worried about mad cows, I cross my heart that I will protect you from any and all possible diseases and disasters."

I laughed with Seth, "right, let's do it then shall we?"

Seth grasped my hand, pulling up to the right of the horse, "that's the spirit" he said cheerfully as I wiped my free palm on the back of my jeans. Seth spoke again, this time instructing and showing me where to put my limbs, "now you've made acquaintance with Torrent here, I want ya to reach your hand up and grab the saddle horn," pointing to the stump that rose out from the front of the saddle. "Once you've done that place your foot in the stirrup and then I'll give you a boost to get you onto his back, sound good?"

I looked a Seth and nodded and up I went. Once I was on the top of Torrent, I looked down at Seth and registered how high off the ground I really was. "Shit Seth, could you not have given me a smaller horse? God help me, I don't break my neck falling off this beast" I commented dryly.

Nonetheless I patted Torrents neck in efforts to calm my nerves. Seth just laughed, I had a feeling that Seth was always happy, he seemed to have this carefree nature and the ability to let very little bother him.

"Are ya comfortable up there Bells?"

I turned my head towards him once again "Yea as much as one can be" I said laughing, "so what's next oh wise master?"

Still laughing Seth walked to the front of the animal and affectionately rubbed his nose, "See boy, Bella here appreciates intelligence when she sees it. Let's take a walk around and get you used to the saddle then I'll eventually let you do it on your own and if you're comfortable, we can work up to a trot today but no pressure."

As the afternoon wore on, Seth and I continued our banter, with me atop Torrent. Surprisingly I felt quite comfortable on horseback and eased into to trotting without so much as a blink.

Seth was really great and neither of us paid heed to the time until Embry wandered over to where we were. "Howdy Bella, lookin' good, we'll have you racing barrels in no time sport!"

I just laughed, "hey Embry, one step at a time ay?"

"You're a natural Bella, Sue wanted me to come tell you to clean up, its time for tea."

Seth came over to where Torrent and I were standing to help me down, "We'll walk back to the stable and clean him up proper then head inside for tea, you must be starved?"

I went to object but instead the grumbling of my stomach answered for me. We three walked back to the stable with Embry tagging along casually chatting with us along the way.

"So Bella, I reckon we'll make a cowgirl outta you yet, whattaya think?" Embry said smiling as I brushed down Torrent's hindquarters.

"I think I'm really going to enjoy it Embry, I can see myself settling in really fast."

We continued chatting as we walked to the homestead and as we washed up for dinner, I mentally prepared myself for the inevitable barrage of questions I would face.

I just hoped that no one would ask too many personal questions tonight.

Thankfully Alice hadn't helped prepare the food and everything was beautifully done, I had a feeling mealtime was the only real chance to catch up with everyone at once.

Luckily, at dinner time everyone was to busy talking about their days achievements and what still needed to be done, to question anymore into my background.

After helping Sue clear up, Alice dragged upstairs to my room, dying for the impending inquisition to begin.


	8. Chapter 8

_**AUTHORS NOTE: Hey all, as you can tell, I'm finally back into writing again, I apologise profusely for not doing so forsuch a long time and I hope I still have some readers out there. As always please, Pm or review, it means a lot to hear your thoughts/opinions and reassures that I'm not just writing to nobody.**_

_**I would like to give a big shout out to Jasper's Black widow, she is an amazing writer, person and friend and I can confidently say without her help, advice and friendship this would never have got here! Check out her page and fanfics. I love them and you will too.**_

_**Jasper's Black Widow, this chapter is dedicated to you for reasons solely we know. Thank you for everything! You have been amazing.**_

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

**BELLA POV**

I couldn't help but laugh at Alice's enthusiasm to take me upstairs and go through my clothes. I couldn't even remember if I packed a dress or heels and I knew that Alice would be disapproving of this fact.

"So Bella, tell me more about back home, did you have a boyfriend? What were your friends like? How old are you? Mum never said. What did you do back home? You need to tell me everything." Alice exclaimed.

Even though I knew these kinds of questions were only skimming the surface, I knew that more personal questions would come. Immediately I went into battle with myself, trying to block out unwanted memories, flinching at the thought of sharing more than I needed. I took a deep breath and began, "Alice do you ever slow down?" I asked laughing, "I'm 22 and why don't you tell me about yourself? I feel like all I do is talk about me, anyway I thought you wanted to help me unpack?"

Alice looked disappointed but began talking while we emptied my suitcase on to my bed and began the process of refolding and organising.

"I turned 21 three months ago and when we get the chance the guys and I all like to go down to the local bar. I don't have a boyfriend but there is someone I like but it's never going to happen so it doesn't matter." Alice looked down when she said that but continued talking so I made a note to ask her about this again later. "I love country music and anything on the charts, I love working on the ranch and being close to my family but I want to get out of here one day and live in the city, designing clothes, fashion is my life. Speaking of fashion girly we need to take you shopping, you are in serious need of a wardrobe update, your looks like it has suffered a crazy malfunction of plain, boring BLAH. How are you meant to pick up a decent guy wearing something like this?" Alice exclaimed holding up my well worn hoody, it was grey, baggy and my never fail go to item of clothing when I was sick or down.

I grabbed it out of Alice's disgusted hands, "this is my favourite comfy hoody and you would do well to not touch it. It's a must have for every wardrobe, the hideous thing that you will never throw away." I said laughing as I put in my drawers.

As I looked around I realised we had finished unpacking except for a few miscellaneous belongings that were easily sorted. I also needed to use the bathroom, "I'll be back in a moment, just gotta pee" I told Alice walking into my ensuite. After I relieved myself and washed my hands I walked out and noticed Alice was looking through a scrapbook, which held a collection of photos, memories, poems and my private thoughts. I ran over and snatched the book away from Alice, hoping she hadn't seen anything, "What are you doing, hasn't anyone ever told you it's rude to help yourself to someone's personal things?"

Alice looked shocked at my reaction but at least had the decency to look apologetic, "I, I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to upset you, I was just curious was all, I didn't mean to pry."

I quickly checked myself, offering Alice a meek grimace, "Sorry Alice, I just don't like people prying through my personal belongings, it's private for a reason and I promise you if you need to know anything I will tell you ok?" She looked relieved I wasn't angry and apologised once more, "don't worry Alice, but for now, this kiwi is smelly, sticky, tired and in need of a shower so I'll see you in the morning, yea?" I said, ushering her to my bedroom door, desperate to shower and be alone with my thoughts once more.

Alice leaned over and gave me a hug, "Yea I'll see you in the morning, I'm serious about your wardrobe though, I'm taking you shopping sometime soon! Night Bells."

As I shut my bedroom door, I sat on the end of my bed and ran my hands over my face, rubbing my eyes with the palms of my hands. I knew I couldn't avoid my past forever, but I was going to for as long as I possibly could; and with that I went and turned the shower on, hoping the hot water would wash away more than just the evidence of a day.

As I stood in the shower, I let the hot water wash away the tension in my shoulders, easing its warm and wet comfort down my back to my legs. After I scrubbed every inch of my body to perfection, I rinsed my hair and climbed out, drying myself with an oversized towel, and changing into my pyjamas.

As I put my few remaining objects away, I grabbed the deep purple book Alice glimpsed earlier and sat in the bay window, opening the book as I did. As I turned the pages, I felt my heart hurt as the reminders of the past I was running from swept me away, threatening to lock me in a prison of despair and self loathing once more. I quickly shut the book as moved to put it away high in the back of my closet where it could not be found.

As I returned to my seat in the window, I stared out into the night looking at the stars, fervently wishing I could rewrite my past and wipe the slate clear. I leant my forehead against the cool glass as I felt the tears trickle slowly down my cheeks, letting myself dwell momentarily. I closed my eyes in contemplative silence, embracing the overwhelming emotions that flooded my body. Soon enough, I pulled myself up and crawled into bed, knowing that the nightmares would be bad tonight. I switched my lamp off sinking into a resigned sleep, knowing I might as well make the most of it as surely it would not last.

_I could feel the heat pouring out, overwhelming everything. The flames were getting higher and fiercer. The seconds felt like minutes as it felt like my flesh was melting away and I could hear screaming, "NO! PLEASE GOD NO, NOT HIM! PLEASE NO!"_

I shook awake, sweat pouring off my body and my breathing shaky as I sobbed quietly into my pillow. I checked the time and seen that it was just after four, and knowing that I wouldn't go back to sleep I got changed, grabbed my MP3 and headed down to the kitchen.

I put some coffee on, turned my MP3 up and started pulling out ingredients and equipment I would need to make bread and scones. I knew it would be a couple of hours until anybody woke up which meant I would have some peace to do my thing as the kitchen swept me away.

As I kneaded the dough I let the stress of last night ease away. I let my fingers work the dough until it was the right consistency before I placed it in the oven to bake. While the bread baked I sat down and drank my coffee, sipping quietly.

**SAM POV**

After tea I headed out to my cottage, all the farm hands had one, except Jake and Embry shared theirs. As I walked into the kitchen I made myself a coffee and headed into my study where I kept my sketchbook.

Drawing was something that Harry had got me into when I first came here as a way to release my feelings. It was very personal to me and I was glad Harry had never spoken about it to anyone, except maybe Sue.

When I looked at the sketches I'd made I seen things I'd drawn from memory. Such as my father's face as he leant over a horse he shod, Harry whittling a piece of wood, all stolen moments that left too soon. I had numerous sketches animals and such around the ranch.

As I finished my coffee, all thought left me as I picked up my pencil and drew.

As my pencil followed imaginary curves, darkened non-existent shadows I watched as the form took shape, a slight of cheek, a wisp of hair and those haunted eyes. Bella. I sighed; even my subconscious couldn't stop thinking about her eyes.

I drew and I thought. I thought of my life after my father had died, the reckless decisions I'd made, not concerned about the others who had to dive out of my path, scampering away from the pain and dodging the hurt I threw at the world in pathetic attempts to relieve me of my own.

It was this that made me wonder, was Bella running for those same reasons?

It was after midnight before I crawled into bed and just before six when I stumbled out, cursing my body's lack of need for sleep. As I pulled on jeans and hunted for my hat, I noticed a light in the kitchen of the homestead and wondered who was up. I decided to wander over and have a look, hoping Harry was up early for a coffee and a chat.

However as I rounded the kitchen I was greeted by a delicious surprise, Bella was there, and she hadn't noticed me. I watched silently as she danced around the kitchen with ease and grace, headphones in her ears. It was just like the stables, Bella and Lady, another stolen moment that left too soon.

It wasn't until she turned from pulling the tray of the most delicious smelling scones from the oven that she saw me, and dropped the tray in fright. Without thinking I reached for the tray, catching and then swiftly throwing them on the bench as their heat scalded my hands.

"Oh Christ Sam, what were you thinking! … Are you ok? … Show me your hands" Bella scolded.

Despite the stinging, I had to laugh at this beautiful woman. "What am I supposed to do when a woman tries to throw perfectly good food on the floor, it's a waste!" I cried, teasingly as she looked at me and grimaced.

As Bella took my hands and ran them under the cold tap, I revelled in her warmth and I could smell the bread lingering in her hair. As I noticed her face, I saw the worry coarse through her eyes and tension thick on her forehead.

I wondered why she was so upset over a little blister and quickly I flicked my wrist splashing her with the water and pulling my wrists free, "I think my hands are fine, they've had worse before, they will heal thanks to the quick thinking of their nurse, now, where are the deadly scones?"

I dried my hands and grabbed a scone from the tray, lathering it in butter I bit into it and let out a barely audible moan. They were so light and indulgent; I couldn't help myself, "Bella you never said you could bake so well, what's in these? I could kiss you woman, it's like heaven in my mouth" I cried.

At this Bella laughed and I watched as her dainty mouth curve up and broaden. "Geez Sam one would think you are but a starved man, I've seen what Sue feeds you and those scones don't compare."

Glad I had lightened the mood, Bella and I bantered back and forth until Sue and Harry joined us in the kitchen. Sue looked surprised to see Bella and I sitting at the bench, sipping coffee, teasing each other like old friends. "Oh morning you two, I thought I heard voices, why up so early?"

I nodded at Harry, "You know me Sue, I hardly sleep and thought I'd come for a nosy when I seen the light on in the kitchen."

As I was speaking Seth, Jake and Embry walked into the kitchen, interrupting with their usual boisterousness. "What's that smell?" Embry asked.

Jake didn't bother to ask just reached around and grabbed a scone, "these look good Sue" he said nodding in her general direction.

At this Sue piped up; "Actually it was Bella who has been slaving in the kitchen all morning Jake, so best you'd mind your manners," she laughed.

I watched as Bella blushed red, "Oh I'm sorry Sue, I hope you didn't mind, I kind of invaded your kitchen, I just couldn't sleep and decided I'd make some bread and I got a little carried away" she mumbled out in a hurry, pointing to the back bench. It wasn't until then, that I noticed two fresh loaves of bread and another two trays of scones, what time had Bella woken up?

Jake bit into the scone, with a reaction similar to mine, "Christ Bella, these are gold! I'm never letting you leave this kitchen. No offense Sue, I still love your food."

Sue just laughed, "Bella is more than welcome to use the kitchen whenever she chooses, as long as you don't hound her Jacob Black. I know what you're like."

At this, the kitchen erupted into its usual festivity of eating and talking, in preparation for the days chores.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE**

**BELLA POV**

As usual I had woken about 4am to nightmares that left my throat raw and heart pounding. Since the other night the memories were more haunting, palpable even. At times I swear I could see their shadows dancing behind my eyes, the memories goading me at every turn. It was as though they were not only back to remind but to haunt me of the mistakes I made and everything I could have done the night but didn't…

It was Friday today and I had spent the morning with Sue in the kitchen getting to know her a bit better. My horse riding efforts yesterday, though fun, left me feeling sore in places I didn't even want to think about. I had spent another day, yesterday, riding with Alice and Harry around the ranch, checking on stock and fences, making sure gates and troughs were as they were meant to be.

Breakfast was over and I was helping Sue clear up as the boys and Alice headed out to complete their various tasks around the ranch. We chatted amicably while busying ourselves in the kitchen. Since my baking the other morning, Sue and I had bonded in a way women in the kitchen do, swapping recipes and passing generational secrets between us. I watched as she added a dash of salt when boiling vegetables and a teaspoon of sugar in the chilli she was making for lunch, drawing out the flavours and giving it that little bit of extra something. She watched as I kneaded my dough, not following a recipe, but that which was memorized in my bones.

Our gentle chatting was soon overpowered by the clambering of voices that entered the kitchen as everyone sat down for lunch, discussing their day so far. In Alice's usual exuberance she greeted me with a hug, our standoff left to the side but surely not forgotten. "Oh my God Bella, we have the greatest plan for the weekend, well it was Jake's idea and I kind of borrowed it. We should all go camping at the spot by the dam this weekend, we can have a fire, sleep under the stars, cook burgers and hotdogs, Seth can bring his guitar, and it will be great. The ride is a bit of a distance but nothing too hard and Seth and Embry said you were a natural; please tell me you want to? Please, please, please?"

As I looked at Alice I tried to hide the smile that was tugging at the corners of my mouth, her face pleading and desperate, and in the end my humour won and I laughed at her, "of course I will… if that's ok with everyone of course" I added quickly, scanning the room. However, I shouldn't have been worried, as we sat down to eat I listened to everyone, including Sue and Harry making plans, organising what needed to be packed, what horses to take and the chores, if any, that couldn't wait until tomorrow.

By the end of lunch it was decided, Sue and I would pack the food, Jake and Harry would go and grab down the camping gear and beer, and Sam, Seth and Embry would feed the animals and check the few things around the homestead and barn before we all changed, packed an overnight bag and saddled up to ride out. As we dug into our lunch I could feel my excitement rise, looking forward to the weekend.

After clearing the table and packing the required food for the weekend, Alice rushed me upstairs to pack a weekend satchel, quickly reciting to me, my weekend wardrobe essentials; "right Bella dad has the sleeping bags in the camping gear but don't forget your bikini, towel, riding jeans, clean underwear, a jacket in case it gets cold and.."

I interrupted her laughing at her enthusiasm, "Yes mum, I'm twenty-two, I should know what to pack for a weekend away. God help us if I didn't, now go get yourself sorted woman." Still laughing I walked into my room and grabbed my satchel from the cupboard, packing the Alice essentials and or course, my ever present camera before heading downstairs again and out to the stables.

As I walked to the stables, Jake pulled into step beside me, casually slinging his arm over my shoulders, "Are you ready Bells?" it seemed everyone here had adopted me as Bells, not that I minded, it felt ... refreshing. "I'm ready cowboy, it's gonna be a good weekend." I said smiling.

"If your going to rough it cowboy style Bella, you better come with me." I looked up quickly, I didn't hear Sam approach but the gentle whisper of his breath as he spoke near my ear, left me tingling all over and I could feel my blush rise.

**SAM POV**

I had to admit, I was excited about going camping, to me there was nothing better than spending some quality time under the stars, soaking up heat from the energy and lounging in the semi wilderness. There was nothing much to be done around the house except feed the chickens, make sure the gates were shut and the barn was closed. I made my way back to the cottage, packing a small satchel with shorts and towel and my sketch pad and pencil. As I turned to walk out again, I noticed the Stetsons hanging on a hook, I grabbed mine and hoisted to my head, rearranging the hat just so and on a whim, I grabbed the other for Bella and headed back to the stables.

As I walked back to the stables, I looked up and saw Jake and Bella headed that way too, Jake's arm slung casually over Bella's shoulder. The spasm of jealousy that coursed through me hit me with a shock but even so, I ran up to them, thinking of a way to get Bella out of Jake's handhold. As I approached I heard Jake and Bella discussing the weekend, and leaned into Bella's ear, "If your going to rough it cowboy style Bella, you better come with me." I struggled to keep myself composed as I heard her quick intake of breath, and watched her ever present blush tint her cheeks and neck. I stepped back quickly, falling into step with her and placed my Stetson on her head, "every good cowgirl needs a Stetson and I'm happy to assist Ma'am" my eyes glued to her mouth as she bit her lip, an observation that went straight to my dick.

"Oh jeez Bella, you're starting to look just like the rest of us now," Jake said, interrupting my thoughts before they headed even further south. I silently cursed myself, wondering what I was doing, fawning over this woman I barely knew.

The gang all met up at the stables, saddling up horses and strapping gear to saddles before we headed out. We set out about 2pm, me riding atop Torrent once again with Seth beside me, both of us riding at the back of the group. "So Bella, your first real horseback adventure, are you excited?"

I looked over to Seth briefly before facing the front, concentrating on where I was going, "Yea I am Seth, and Torrent here doesn't look quite so scary the second time round." Seth urged Tonto his horse into a gentle trot, encouraging me to so the same, both of us gliding along on our steeds chatting companionably.

"It will be good to go to the dam again; we were going to go the other day but got distracted on the ranch. Mum and Dad haven't been for a while either." Seth commented.

Eyes ahead I continued talking, "do you guys go there often do you?"

"Yea, it's our swimming hole and a great place to camp in the summer, you picked a good time to join us Bells."

"I'm glad I came, I just, I guess I needed to get away from home and explore the world a bit, ya know Seth. It felt like it was my time to discover whatever is out there for me to see and do" I mentioned, cringing with nostalgia and pushing unwanted memories aside.

We had been riding about 40 minutes when Seth turned his head to me, "Bella when your aunty was here last, she mentioned a boyfriend you had..." My eyes shot to him and I interrupted before he could finish "well I don't anymore and I'd rather not talk about it if you don't mind," a tight ball of energy twisted in my stomach and I needed an outlet. Turning to Seth again, "I wanna canter for a bit, do you wanna ride with me?" I smiled as I spoke, watching Seth's previously perturbed face break out in a grin, "You betcha Bells, just remember pull the reins firmly if you wanna stop and I'm here if you change your mind and want some help ok?"

I looked Seth over and nodded, "See you at the finish line" I cried, kicking Torrent into gear and racing off.

Riding at a canter was a freeing experience and I basked in the feeling of the wind blowing and the sun basking my face as we rode along the paddock flat, quickly catching up to the others. Seth looked over to me and called, "head to the left Bella, and keep riding, the others won't mind. I called back my agreement and as we reached the others I kept my pace and veered slightly to the left, over taking the others, determined to beat Seth wherever it was we were headed.

**SAM POV**

I knew the way to the dam like it was imprinted on my soul and I let Taura lead the way, letting my mind slip to thoughts of Bella. As a twenty four year old warm blooded man I'd had my share of late night companions and careless one night rendezvous' but Bella was neither, I didn't know what it was about her that had captivated me both quickly and wholly. I patted the mare named after Taurus, the constellation, in a more feminine form.

As we wandered along all either lost in our own thoughts or chatting amongst ourselves, I let the sun ease my muscles as I relaxed into the saddle, enjoying the smell of my steed and the comforting feel of the leather beneath me. My thoughts were my own, floating nowhere in particular and I idly observed we were only about ten minutes from our destination.

As I heard the sound of hooves rushing towards me I spun my head, as the others did, to see Bella and Seth racing towards us. I felt my mouth curve into a smile as I noticed how much more confident Bella looked riding, admiring the look of pure joy and determination on her face as she tore away from Seth. I heard Alice cheer her on, and Jake and Embry call out teasing Seth for being beaten by a girl, a newbie nonetheless.

**BELLA POV**

I yelled in triumph at beating Seth to the dam, turning and waiting for him with a grin on my face, as he raced into the clearing. "Ha! I win! You'll have to try harder than that if you wanna beat me Seth" I called laughing. I leaned down to pat Torrent and congratulate him on being a winner as the others rode into the clearing in a slower entrance. Seth looked up at me and grinned, "You sure you've never ridden before Bells? That was pretty impressive." I climbed off Torrent stretching my legs as Alice jumped down and lunged, hugging me in congratulation for beating her brother. "Well done Bella! You were great out there, poor Seth won't live this down for a while" She commented looking at her brother pointedly, "So tell me Seth, what does it feel like to be beaten by a girl?"

Embry came up beside me, clapping me on the shoulder, "A newbie to boot, geez Bells you were natural out there, we'll get you barrel racing in no time, I guarantee."

We unpacked the camp and brushed our horses down before changing behind the trees and going for a swim in the dam. I was unsure of swimming in just my bikini as I knew how white I was compared to the others. Alice however, had other plans and dragged me by the hand, launching us off the bank and into the water, still clenching my hand. I revelled in the warmth of the water for a while, soaking my sweat away before climbing out to lie on the bank to dry myself off. I felt myself dozing off in the hot Texan sun when two rough hands grabbed me and I found myself hauled over Jacob's shoulder and hurled into the water.

As I resurfaced I seen Jake had taken off to the other side of the dam, "So right you should Jacob, mark my words I will get you back!" I yelled, scowling and holding back a laugh. As I rose once more out of the clear water to sit on the bank, Jake replied, "aw come on Bells it was all in good fun, I was just playing around, please don't be upset." The others were watching with mixtures of humour on their faces. I punched Jake in the arm "Na I'm not mad Jake, but don't think your getting away with it, I will get you back" I responded laughing.

Soon after we all headed back to camp where Harry had started a fire and Sue already had food cooking. As the smell of hotdogs and burgers assaulted my senses I heard my stomach growl in approval. I had pulled a singlet and pants over my near dry bikini and walked over to the fire where the boys were just finished cooking their hotdogs, grabbing my camera on the way. I walked quietly behind Jake before lunging and succeeding in stealing his hotdog and taking a bite. "Hey! Aw man, I was just about to eat that. Bella you don't mess with a man and his food, it's just cruel." I just laughed, and replied, "Well you never mess with a woman and her tanning either, by the way Jake you cooked this hotdog to perfection!" I walked over to where the others were laughing and sat down.

As we sat around the fire I let myself relax as I thought about, well everything of my time here so far. Presently we were sitting down by the dam, horses grazing and settling in for the night. The smell of sausages and campfire smoke was wafting slowly in the air, and Seth was gently strumming his guitar, playing a random tune. I looked around, quietly observing everyone, Sue and Harry sat closely together arms brushing while Embry, Jake and Alice all chatted abundantly. Seth sat just outside their circle, partially listening and playing, his fingers stroking the instrument like wind blowing through chimes on a spring evening. As I gazed around I noticed Sam, like me, was sitting in the semi shadows observing his pseudo family as I was. I took a moment, raking my eyes over him silently approving his muscular body. He looked up and caught my eye before I blushed and turned my gaze back to the fire concentrating on losing myself in the flames.

As the night grew older, beers were drunk and the guitar was passed around, Sue and Harry had long since crawled into their sleeping bags a little way back from the fire. I was gazing into the flames and swigged down the dregs of my beer when Embry passed me the guitar, "can you play Bells?" I looked up and frowned slightly, "Yea I guess but I haven't played in a long time."

I gently picked up the guitar and started strumming, the familiar stirring in my chest and I lost myself in memories,

_Give me hope in silence  
>It's easier; It's kinder<br>Tell me not of heartbreak  
>It plagues my soul, plagues my soul<br>We will meet back on this road  
>Nothing gaining, truth be told<br>But I am not the enemy  
>it isn't me, the enemy<br>_

_But I came and I was nothing  
>And time will give us nothing<br>So why did you choose to lean on  
>A man you knew was falling?<em>

_Give me hope in silence  
>It's easier; It's kinder<br>Tell me not of heartbreak  
>It plagues my soul, plagues my soul<br>And bury me beside you  
>I have no hope<br>In solitude  
>And the world will follow<br>To the earth down below_

_But I came and I was nothing  
>And time will give us nothing<br>So why did you choose to lean on  
>A man you knew was falling?<em>

As I quietened, I looked up and noticed all eyes on me once again.

_**AUTHORS NOTE: The name of Sam's horse, Taura, have no idea if there is such a thing as the feminine counterpart to the constellation, I just added it in there so please don't hate. Also the song Bella sung (no idea where that came from, writing ran away on me) is from Mumford and Sons called 'The Enemy.' I personally love Mumford and Sons, what about you lot? Remember please review, it lets me know if I'm doing a good job, also if you know of any musicians you can recommend I'd love to hear from you!**_

_**Love y'all**_

_**Poppet**_


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

**SAM POV**

I watched in awe as Bella sung, closing her eyes and opening her soul. Her voice was unexpected, strong but gentle, full of raw emotion and passion. I'd never heard the song she sang before but I could tell there was deep meaning in her words. She didn't seem to sing rather than caress the words out. Listening, they seemed to hit you at the core of your being and seep into your soul. As I looked around I noticed the others, holding similar expressions to me and as she finished no one spoke for a while.

At the silence Bella looked mildly panicked, "Sorry guys, I guess I kinda got lost in the moment, here Seth, take your guitar back, thank you for letting me play…" When nobody moved Bella spoke again, more worried, "Ok guys can some one please speak, you're freaking me out." This time everyone started speaking at once;

"Bella that was beautiful"

"Wow..."

"You never told me you could sing"

"No way am I taking my guitar back after that Bells"

"Jesus cowgirl, your voice is a health hazard!" I spoke. "What's the song you sang? I've never heard it before."

Alice spoke again before Bella had a chance to answer, "Please play another Bella, you are amazing."

Without speaking, Bella began to play again, her eyes open but unfocused, full of emotion. I sat enchanted by this glimpse into her soul. Captivated once more when she opened her mouth and began to sing;

_You saw my pain, washed out in the rain  
>Broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins<br>But you saw no fault no cracks in my heart  
>And you knelt beside my hope torn apart<br>But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from you  
>And we'll live a long life<br>So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light  
>Cause oh that gave me such a fright<br>But I will hold as long as you like  
>Just promise me we'll be alright<em>

_So lead me back  
>Turn south from that place<br>And close my eyes from my recent disgrace  
>Cause you know my call<br>We'll share my all  
>Now children come and they will hear me roar<br>So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light  
>Cause oh that gave me such a fright<br>But I will hold as long as you like  
>Just promise me that we'll be alright<em>

_But hold me still bury my heart on the cold  
>And hold me still bury my heart on the cold<em>

_So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light  
>Cause oh that gave me such a fright<br>But I will hold on as long as you like  
>Just promise me that we'll be alright<em>

_But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from you  
>And we'll live a long life<em>

I watched as Bella silently cried, tears running down her cheeks and wondered if anyone else noticed.

**BELLA POV**

I was blown away by everyone's reactions, it had been a long time since I'd sung in front of people, but it was good to release some of my pain. Singing had always been a way for me to let go of some of the emotions I held close. Both the songs I sung tonight I had written in memory of... him and as I sung for the second time I couldn't help but let some of the stray tears roll down my cheeks. Closing my eyes, I sung strong, memories of him and us flickering through my mind and I kept singing, pouring my heart and soul into the guitar. The more I sung, the more lost in the music I became and I soon lost track of how long I played for.

When I opened my eyes again I noticed everyone but Alice and Sam had gone and as I put the guitar down Alice rushed over and hugged me close, "Bella that was beautiful, you have an incredible voice! I can't believe you never said anything earlier." Squeezing me tight and letting me go, I watched as she headed to bed, leaving Sam and I to sit in silence staring at the fire. I discreetly tried to wipe away my eyes, hoping no one had seen my tears in the dark.

I jumped when Sam spoke up quietly, "please don't stop Bella." … I idly noticed he had moved closer, "I didn't mean to get lost in the music… I guess a combination of beer and a long day got away with me…" I muttered. Sam reached down and cracked a beer for the both of us and came to stop, sitting beside me and handing me the bottle. "I enjoyed your playing tonight Bells, it was like a glimpse into whatever secrets you have hidden deep inside. You can tell you're playing for a reason, the way you wound your words, swirling them through the air. You had a purpose and meaning, maybe a memory of some great time or even a simple what if, could have. I don't know Bella but I liked it and I want more, please don't stop playing." Sam spoke with firmness and a gentle tone at the same time and I picked up the guitar once more, gently strumming a song less tune.

"I don't sing Sam… at least not for a long time; I have no reason to anymore. I don't see the point of aimlessly stringing some words together in time with a tune. Music is meant to be food for the soul not some careless composition with no meaning other than a pretty poem. Life is shit Sam; there are no promises, no guarantees, nothing is forever. We live in a world full of bitter disappointment, hurt and grief; yea there are truly blessed moments to celebrate, but you have to stop and wonder is it really worth it if the bad consistently outweighs the good? I mean really,

What is the point?" I stopped and drew a breath, still strumming the guitar.

**SAM POV**

I don't know what came over me but after Bella finished her rant, I looked at her and before she could argue, I leaned over and kissed her. Hard. Then I threw my head back and laughed. "You cowgirl, are one fiery bitch. Of course, life is shit, how else would we learn to pick ourselves up, out of the dust and rush back to the ring, fists raised and fighting? If life wasn't shit how would we learn to appreciate what we have? If life wasn't shit how would we remember to let the people we love know we care before it's too late?"

I looked over at Bella as a pained expression clouded her face and before I knew what happened, her fist connected with my jaw, "didn't your mama ever teach you not to kiss girls without their permission!? I don't know who the hell you think you are cowboy but I can tell you sure as hell if you ever pull that shit again; it won't be your jaw you should be worried about!" I looked at Bella, rubbing my chin, "Who the hell taught you to hit like that? I promise you I won't be repeating that mistake twice!"

We sat in silence for a while, me contemplating what the hell I was thinking kissing Bella like that. I swigged my beer and grabbed another for Bella and I, taking the cap off hers and passing it over, "A peace offering." Bella looked at me, grabbed the bottle and drank deep, clinking it with mine, "because life is crap and filled with bad manners, irreparable mistakes and cheap beer; new beginnings, Stetsons and campfires."

And with that Bella picked up her guitar and began to sing, this time a song I knew.

_if I told you he was your brother  
>we could reminisce<br>then you would go about your day  
>if I said you ought to give him<br>some of your water  
>you'd shake your canteen and walk away<em>

_the perception that divides you from him  
>is a lie<br>for some reason you never asked why  
>this is not a black and white world<br>you can't afford to believe in your side_

_this is not a black and white world  
>to be alive<br>I say that the colours must swirl  
>and I believe<br>that maybe today  
>we will all get to appreciate<em>

_the beauty of gray_

_if I told you that she was your mother  
>we could analyze the situation and be<br>gone  
>if I said you ought to give her<br>some of your water  
>your eyes would light up like the dawn<em>

_the perception that divides you from her  
>is a lie<br>for some reason you never asked why  
>this is not a black and white world<br>you can't afford to believe in your side_

_this is not a black and white world  
>to be alive<br>I say the colours must swirl  
>and I believe<br>that maybe today  
>we will all get to appreciate<em>

_the beauty of gray_

_look into your eyes  
>no daylight<br>new day now_

**BELLA POV**

As the song ended, I continued strumming quietly, "I never told him I cared. I never told him I appreciated him or that he was my best friend. I never told him, I always assumed it would always be us two… and now it's too late." I leaned my head on Sam's shoulder, "How sad is that? The one person I always needed the most and they never even knew? How selfish am I? How bad is it, that this is what life is reduced to? People appreciating objects more than people, only reflecting on the negatives of a person, she's too fat, too thin, too this, too that. He has a car that's too flash he must be a sleaze. Everyone is too concerned by the word too, too much, too little, too good, not good enough."

To my right, Sam sat, his mind ticking over my words sipping his beer, "You know Bella, people are full of imperfections, it's what makes us human, our judgements make us who we are, and they dictate our beings, our very core. They are what make us superior but also sentence us to a life of hypocrisy. I idolized my father, and when he died, I lost control, I went out to fight the world because of everything they did and of everything they didn't do. Everything that happened; I made it my goal to find ways to blame someone, everyone, for his death. In my mind, I was hurting and I wanted the world to hurt too. I looked at families with both parents and hated them for having what I didn't. I hated people that couldn't stand their father, wanting to shake them into apology for not appreciating what they had. To men who refused to father their children I wanted to string by the rooftops for not being proud and stepping up to what they helped create. Everywhere I looked there was someone doing something wrong."

I looked up at Sam as he continued, "I drank, fought and fucked my way through the pain, fighting every man and object that blocked my path to getting what I wanted, scorned every woman I bedded for being too easy, blaming their father's for not teaching them to respect themselves more than to let some rogue cowboy take advantage of them, and I drank to absolve myself of memories. I replaced my hurt with anger and because of it; I learnt every cop's first name and know every crack and crevice in their jail cells." Sam paused briefly and I sipped my beer, not wanting to break the silence, hoping Sam would continue.

"When Harry came to me, I hated him too, purely for no reason other than to hate, by then hate and anger were all I knew. Harry came to bail me out of jail one day and I was released into his custody. He took and brought me here where we just sat, and I listened to him talk about my father. I yelled and screamed at him until I couldn't yell and scream anymore. Finally the strength to fight just left my body and then I cried, I let out all the pain I had held onto and I wept for the father I lost and life I had thrown away. Through all of this Harry stayed with me, patient as ever and when I stopped, he said something to me, 'don't fear tomorrow or regret the past, live for today and never look back. Remember your father and honour him by living a life he would have been proud of."

After Sam had finished speaking I stood up to head for bed but before I did, I leant over and pressed my lips against his. This time enjoying the moment, noticing his soft lips contrasted his rough, firmly sculpted body. We both melted into the other, revelling in the warmth we shared, Sam reached his arm around my waist drawing my nearer, responding with a careful enthusiasm. Before it could go any further, I pulled back, slowly, and reached my hand up to stroke his cheek, "Goodnight Sam, and thank you for tonight."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: The first song is called "Ghost's that we knew" by Mumford and Sons and the second song is called "The Beauty of Gray" by Live. I just borrowed them. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter and will enjoy the rest of the story but please read the below warning now and as always please, please, please review. I have found that reviews make me write faster ;)**

_**This story is an emotional one for me I have and will continue to draw on personal experiences for me, so consider this now your warning that some of the future content will not be pleasant, there will be dark themes. I write for three people, myself, Rick and Jasper's Black Widow. **_

**Much love,**

**xxx**


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

**SAM POV**

I watched as Bella walked over to her swag. She kissed me. She punched me earlier and then she kissed me. And God was she a great kisser, her lips soft but her body hard in all the right places, her fiery energy singing my lips as I pulled her closer. My body betrayed my mind as we kissed and I clung to her in fear of losing this moment, losing her before I was ready to stop worshipping her mouth. As I climbed into my swag, my mind was racing at a hundred miles a minute, two of the most prevalent thoughts were, why did Bella kiss me? And how can I get her to do that again? I briefly wondered who "he" was and what happened? When I watched Bella singing tonight, I seen her silent tears and every nerve was screaming at me to hug her and hold her close until the hurting leaves her and the memories are bit a speck in the distance. I wanted to find whoever hurt her and pour unspeakable evils upon them.

I tossed and turned for the most of the night playing our kiss over and over behind my eyes, the way she leant in and cupped my face, the way her warm breath dusted my cheeks as she whispered goodnight, how her eyes twinkled when she said thank you. It took all I had to not show her my thanks then and there by the fire. I thought about how her body perfectly moulded into mine when I pulled her close and I smirked when I realised she didn't pull away when I did so. I had no idea why she kissed me or what changed her mind but there was no way I would complain. I would happily suffer the rage of her fists to have her kiss me like that again. I had never met a woman that could hit as hard or on target as Bella could but my God it was hot.

I groaned as I realised that Bella had not only worked me up but replaying it had made me harder than ever. I desperately thought of anything I could to change my thought pattern in hopes that the erection I had would go away and the thoughts of my family so close and nearby helped to slowly ease my problem. As I drifted into a dirty sleep, I briefly wondered if Bella was still awake.

….

We were standing down by the river talking, it seemed neither of us could sleep after the kiss by the fire, Bella was standing close to me and I pulled her to sit beside me, as close as I could get her without pulling her onto my lap. I stroked her hair and whispered into her ear, "you don't how sexy you are my beautiful Bella; I will happily take a fist from you to kiss you like that everyday." I leaned down pulling her flush against my chest as I kissed her, continuing where we left off earlier, nipping at her lips, slipping my tongue into her mouth as we continued the battle of wills. When she moaned into my mouth, my restraint slipped and I leaned her back against the bank as I pulled myself over her, still kissing her, this time letting my hand wander over her body, memorising the curves. The softness of her breast contradicted the hardness of her nipples as I gently pinched them through her top. At this Bella gasped and whispered my name and slid her hand down my chest, closer to the erection that was currently pressed against her lower stomach and as she stroked it through my jeans I fought back every urge to cum then and there. Bella noticed my struggle and smirked up at me, "you sure you can handle me cowboy?" I'm never going to be able to hear her call me cowboy again without imaging replays of our current positions. The look of her swollen lips and hooded eyes made me want her even more and I slipped my hand into her pants, seeking out the heat of her juices, slipping my fingers inside her. As I let my fingers dance, the sound of her whimpers urged me on until I couldn't handle it anymore. I pulled my fingers out still kissing her and removed our pants with a swift efficiency, sinking my erection into the depths, groaning at the feel of her wrapped around my cock."

I woke up with a sudden jerk; Holy Shit! Dreaming about Bella, I looked around noticing that everyone else was still asleep, thankful that they couldn't see what I just dreamt. I pulled myself out of my swag and walked off towards the dam, in hopes that a cold morning swim would calm my body down. As I walked down the track to the dam, I looked up and to my horror, Bella was in there already swimming, I groaned, someone really wants me dead.

**BELLA POV**

As I walked over and crawled in to my swag, I was suddenly thankful I pulled mine a little distance from everyone else. What the hell was I thinking kissing Sam like that? Damnit Bella, why can't you control yourself? I mentally slapped myself "sort ya shit" I scolded. As I closed my eyes my brain missed the memo, and all I could see was the kiss Sam and I shared. It was as if my brain was stuck on replay as the images ran past my eyes. I remembered his soft lips and rough hands on my body, and the small of my back tingled in warmth as if the memory of Sam burnt in the best of ways. I groaned in frustration, a kiss that never meant to happen seemed to be haunting me. Why did I do it? Was I some sort of sadist? Enjoying the inevitable hurt and welcoming it before it even arrived. What was wrong with me? Was one lot of hurt not enough? Had I not filled my quota yet or did I just want to get in credit while I still could?

With a determined and stubborn attitude I willed myself to a dreamless sleep while I could. However, I woke a few hours later, feeling only semi refreshed and grumbled out loud to myself when almost instantly my thoughts turned once again to Sam. What was it about Sam that made him so… Sam? When I looked at him there was no denying he was a god in a man's body, he was gorgeous without a doubt, tall, toned and tanned. He had strength of character and muscle, a warming smile and panty dropping smirk. His eyes, they made you feel welcome, warned away the unwanted and lips; Oh lord they were soft and sweet and kissable. I could kiss them forever, _"don't think like that Bella!_" When he wrapped his arms around me last night, I could feel the muscle and pure man. I knew having them holding me, comforting me, pleasing me, torturing me with their languid strokes every night would be like heaven on earth. The sky was almost beginning to lighten so I decided that I would go for a swim at the dam, defiant in my mind to rid my thoughts of Sam and last night.

The water was cool and refreshing as I swam, with a laziness only the wealthy can afford. The peaceful sound of birds and other early morning critters were my only companions as I relaxed into the silence, soaking away my worries, Sam far from my mind. As I swam enjoying the peace, I heard the sound of twigs breaking underfoot and I spun round, groaning as I realised who had broken my peace. I watched Sam's face mirror mine in a pained anguish, "Hey Sam I was just getting out if you want some alone time." I smiled briefly, hiding the annoyance of having my tranquillity broken, but moved to exit the water anyway. "Na you're alright Bells but I can leave again, you looked like you were enjoying yourself," the pained expression on his face made me wonder if he regretted last night. I still wasn't sure if I did or not, kisses like his don't come around very often, _"for a very good reason you know girly" _my inner monologue chastised. As I was about to agree with him, I second guessed myself, speaking before I could stop, "Na you're fine Sam, it's not my dam and plus I'm sure there's room enough for the two of us." Sam smiled briefly, "as long as you stay on your side and me on mine" he spoke attempting to make a joke. I turned and swam away, muttering under my breath, "I hope at least one of us can."

**SAM POV**

I watched as Bella quickly spun around, water glistening on her body, _"Damnit Sam, get a fucken grip!"_ I eased the grimace off my face and quickly offered to leave, more for my sanity than hers. As Bella turned and swam away I swear I heard her muttering, "I hope at least one of us can." Bella's voice, her lips, I couldn't help but look after last night. All the things we could possibly do in the water, away from prying eyes and a distance away from the camp enough that the moans coming from her probably wouldn't be heard. My dream from last night came back to me and I dived in the water hoping to hide a now obvious erection. This woman was going to be the death of me.

I swam over to the other side of the dam, planning on swimming laps in hopes of wearing my latest 'growth' down. After swimming a few laps, I turned and watched Bella jump and dive from the giant rock into the water, admiring her sleek body wet in all the places except the one I wanted. While my mind wandered where my hands wished they could, I neglected to notice the toned creature underwater making its way to me. It wasn't until I felt small hands grab me by ankle and pull me under that I realised where Bella was and I surfaced spluttering water. Not to let her get away with it, I reached my arms around her waist and pulled her back flush to my naked chest, momentarily revelling in the sensation of skin against skin, "What happened to staying on your side?" as Bella wiggled in attempts to free herself, her tight backside rubbed against my groin and I had to bite back a groan, "I could see the smoke coming from your ears from thinking so hard and thought you needed to cool down." I leaned down and spoke into her ear, "Cowgirl if you know what's good for you, you'll stop wriggling," Bella stopped immediately but unfortunately, not for long instead manoeuvring herself, "now cowboy..." she freakin' purred! "Where's the fun in that?" Impossibly, at the tone of her voice I hardened even more. "Bella if you are playing I suggest you stop because you are killing my self control here." The only response was Bella's arse rubbing against me once more.

I moved my hand up tweaking her nipple, rolling it between my fingers, enjoying the whimper that came from Bella. I moved my other hand to the previously neglected nipple and began tweaking and rolling the sensitive nubs as I kissed her neck, "Jesus Bella you could tempt a priest." At this she just laughed, grinding herself against me, and reached around to stroke me through my shorts, I let out a hiss at the contact as her small hand touched me, gently biting her ear as I did. I slipped a hand into her bottoms, glad she wasn't stopping me; I pushed one finger inside of her, surprised at her tightness and used my thumb to brush against her clit. Groaning as Bella stroked my cock, her hands seeming to know just how to work me. Slipping a second finger into her wetness, Bella moaned softly, "Saam… this is not a good idea." I laughed softly nipping at her neck, "I don't see why not, but tell me stop and I will" continuing my ministrations. I hoped like hell Bella didn't ask me to stop, not trusting myself to stop. I heard nothing but Bella's whimpers and smirked as I heard them intensify, not stopping I rubbed my thumb against her clit once more, hoping I could refrain from finishing before she did. Bella's hand seemed to fit around me, making the perfect 'O' and as I bit down a groan I felt Bella clench against my fingers, sending me into a spasm of my own.

**BELLA POV**

I was determined to ignore Sam and continue swimming but as I surfaced from under the water and seen him standing in the water, half naked and water droplets sliding down his back I realised there was no way I had THAT much self restraint. I silently slid under the water and swam towards the water bound Adonis, gripping my hands around his ankles and tugging him under water, before releasing him and trying to swim away. I didn't get very far before I felt a pair of warm, rugged hands slip around my waist and pulling me against his very naked chest. Immediately I tried to wiggle free, teasing him as I did so. I felt his erection against my backside just as he spoke up, his warm breath tickling my ear, "Cowgirl if you know what's good for you, you'll stop wriggling." I stopped as I realised just how big he was and decided to further provoke the beast as common sense left and pleasure took its place, hoping Sam would reciprocate just as enthusiastically. When he spoke again, I knew I was winning the battle, "Jesus Bella you could tempt a priest."

All sane thoughts left as I felt Sam's finger push inside my wetness and I'm pretty sure I let out a whimper. Oh how the mighty have fallen, seduction is not for the faint of heart. I knew that we should stop but as Sam slid a second finger in I knew any argument I made was a weak one and I hoped he wouldn't come to sanity and pull away, "Saam… this is not a good idea…" I panted feeling my climax budding and building, getting closer and closer. I stroked Sam, hoping he was enjoying this as much as I was and by the groan he let out I knew I was on the money. As Sam brushed his thumb over my clit repeatedly I felt myself fall over the edge and smirked as I felt him follow soon after. I leant back nuzzling into his neck to catch my breath before swimming away and heading back to camp.


	12. Chapter 12

_**AN: As usual thanks to my beta/pre reader/amazing woman, person and friend, Jasper's Black Widow, if not for her, this wouldn't be here.**_

_**Also I am making some editing changes, it won't alter the story but if you have any questions on characters and such just PM or review.**_

_**Remember to review! Reviews make the world spin round!**_

As I made my way back to camp I saw that Alice was already awake and looking perky as usual. Oh God I hoped she hadn't come down to the dam or heard anything that might give away my morning rendezvous. My mind was still reeling from Sam and his fingers, I had a feeling I had just opened the biggest can of worms about. Where to from here? What do I do now? What have I done? SHIT! Alice said something to me and I quickly looked up, "Uh what was that Alice?"

"Morning Bella, I said you're up early, did you sleep alright? You're looking a little flushed." As Sam joined the conversation, I felt my face redden, feeling the blush creeping down my neck. I bit my tongue to hold back a groan. "Yea no worse than usual, I've just been for a quick swim in the dam.' There wasn't anything too quick about what I did at the dam and it certainly didn't involve much swimming, but there was no way I was telling Alice that.

I turned as I heard Sue and Harry join the group and quickly greeted them, "Morning guys, I was just thinking about starting breakfast for everyone, are you all hungry?" I was answered with murmurs of agreement and Sam's stomach growling, "Oops, I think my morning swim made me hungrier than I realised… You're quite the swimmer Bella." My face flamed in embarrassment when I looked up and saw Sam showing that pantry dropping smirk. At this Sue looked at me again, "Have you already been for a swim Bella? How was the water?"

I felt my throat drop to my stomach and I swallowed thickly, trying to come up with an answer, "I…Uh… It was good… who's for breakfast?" I turned quickly and walked over to the fire, ignoring Sam's still smirking face.

As I hunted around for breakfast foods, I was relieved to see Harry stoking the fire. For now, all I could do was stay as far away from Sam I as I could until I had cleared my thoughts and decided my next course of action. For now I focused on flipping sausages and stirring spaghetti making sure nothing burned, shutting out all other thought. I felt the hair on my arms tingle and looked up to notice Sam moving to sit beside me, quick thinking I called out to Alice,

"Hey Alice, come over here, now is the perfect time for me to teach you how to cook different things."

I refused to acknowledge Sam's presence and hoped against hope that Alice would take me up on my offer.

"I don't know Bella everyone is pretty hungry, maybe we should do it another time…"

"Alice now is as good a time as any, now get your butt over here! I've already started so you just need to follow my instruction. Anyway I know that no one here will mind. Now come on!" As I said this I looked at everyone, daring them to argue my point, when no one spoke up, I looked at Alice with a take-no-prisoners-satisfied-smirk and moved over, waiting for her to join me.

As Alice sat down, I began my handing her the tongs and wooden spoon, "Alright at the moment all you need to do is to keep turning the sausages nice and slow so that they brown nicely but don't burn. Spaghetti you need to keep stirring so it doesn't stick to the bottom of the pan and burn. Easy right?"

Alice looked at me with a look of panic, "Bella I don't think I can do all of that without messing it up, really" she spoke trying to hand me back the spoon and tongs. I stood up, I was not giving in or giving up on this, "Alice, stop acting like a baby and harden up, this is not rocket science, now you either sit down and shut up and do as your told or you can march your lil self back to your sleeping bag and starve!"

When I heard quiet snorts of laughter I looked up to see everyone watching mine and Alice's debate with amusement. I was already tense from my swim with Sam and Alice was not going to quit so as I watched her pick up the cooking utensils I sat back down with a satisfied grin and watched. As Alice stirred and turned I kept my eye on her, making sure nothing burnt or stuck, the concentration on Alice's face was intense but she slowly relaxed as she became more confident.

As I walked off to get plates for everyone, Sam followed, "Are you gonna avoid me all day cowgirl?"

I fought the urge to jump as his breath tickled the back of my neck, "What? Because I'm not hanging all over you I'm avoiding you now?"

"You're not hanging off me at all, in fact it seems like you are trying to put as much distance between us as you possibly can."

"I am trying to teach Alice and if you want to eat anytime soon, I suggest you back off alright Sam." I huffed and walked away, back to Alice, hoping breakfast was still alright. As I returned to the fire, I was glad to see Alice still following instruction, "It looks good Pixie, in fact I'd say it's cooked so carefully take them off the fire and let's get some breakfast."

Alice smiled, "wow that wasn't too hard at all Bella, it would have been better if we added some extra flavours to the spaghetti though."

"NO, the art of cooking is sometimes simplicity Alice, the less you add, sometimes the better. Do not forget, simplicity is key ok?"

**SAM POV**

Feeling Bella cum around my fingers so completely was amazing, it was as if her tightness grew impossibly tighter when her muscles clenched and she whimpered out loud. I fell over the edge just after her, her noises and ministrations tipping me over. When she kissed my neck, I closed my eyes enjoying the sensation and remembering last night. However when Bella swam away back to the camp I was confused, what the hell just happened? I have had my share of women, although by no means am I a manwhore, but no woman has ever acted as strangely as Bella. She was breathtaking in her natural beauty and feisty attitude. It was plain to anyone paying attention that Bella has demons as we all do and was dying to know.

I shook my head clear and headed back to camp myself wondering what would await me there, knowing that undoubtedly it would be interesting. I watched as Bella seemed flustered about this morning, apparent in the way she blushed and stumbled over her words whenever someone brought up her swim. I loved watching her blush and the things that it did do me and as my stomach grumbled at the mention of food, I smirked at Bella, "Oops, I think my morning swim made me hungrier than I realised… You're quite the swimmer Bella." Enjoying the instant blush that spread down her chest, I struggled to keep from staring as I watched her perky breasts beat in time with her heart as her breath flushed and quickened. For the rest of the morning I noticed Bella seemed to be avoiding me, finding reasons and excuses to stay as far away from me as possible. Was she embarrassed?

**BELLA POV**

I had been at the Clearwater's nearly a month and my tan and physique had slowly been progressing, I was more pale brown now than a neon white and I was starting to see the definition of muscles in my body from working around the ranch. It had been two weeks since we had all gone camping down by the dam and I was well and truly settled into the ranch. I had spent my time avoiding Sam wherever possible, quickly offering my help to everyone else. Because of my lack of sleeping, I was the first one up in the homestead most days and could always be found in the kitchen making fresh bread in the mornings. It become my routine to help in Sue in the kitchen and with her kitchen duties eased, she had been spending more time in her gardens. While Sue has been planting and weeding, I have been dragging Alice into the kitchen and teaching her more basic foods. Alice is coming along well with her cooking despite her reluctance to 'simplify' but most of her food is now edible. In exchange for teaching her to cook, Alice has been taking me riding and we have explored much of the ranch. We often rode as far and for as long as we could, taking in the natural scenery. The paddocks that we rode through were big and open and the grass more often than not was a healthy green. However, the dryness of summer was here and some of the paddocks were starting to show this as green had begun fading into browns. I found that the wide open expanses gave me and Torrent the chance to let go and gallop away all our fears and troubling thoughts. As often as I spent time in the kitchen, I spent equally as much time helping Harry and the boys on the ranch, repairing fences, checking animal troughs and moving stock. The boys were currently in the process of teaching me cutting. Apparently this was a big must for them when moving cattle in case they needed to separate an animal or rejoin a wandering animal with the rest of the herd.

I woke up sweating to nightmares and flashbacks as usual and seeing the clock blaring 4am I knew that it was fruitless trying to go back to sleep. I stretched out of bed and made my way into the shower before heading downstairs to the kitchen. Grabbing my MP3, I turned it up and listened as Creedence Cleawater Revival belted out, I danced my way around the kitchen, kneading dough and humming along. By the time the others had made their way to the kitchen there was three loaves of bread made and coffee ready to be drunk. Over breakfast Harry turned to me while I was sipping my coffee, "Bella, would ya like t' come help around the ranch today? We're gonna be movin' some cattle and could really use the extra help." I nodded at Harry, "It'll be a good time to teach ya cutting as well as the herd ain't too big." At this I looked up, "what's cutting?" I queried. "Cutting is the ability to ride your horse without usin' ya hands, instead relying on the ability to work your horse with ya feet and have ya horse follow your aids. All our horses are trained for cutting so it shouldn't be too hard fer you t' learn, you're a natural." I smiled at Harry's compliment and was excited about going out to work on the ranch for the day.

After breakfast we packed what food we would need for the long day ahead and headed out to the stables. Seth was helping me saddle up Torrent who had become my regular steed, "You're gonna be great at cutting Bella, like Dad said, you're a natural rider." Seth smiled as he spoke, our conversations always came easy and often when we went out, I stuck with him and Embry, both very similar in their easy, safe personalities. As we made our way through the paddocks, heading up in to the hills, I rode close to Embry and Seth, laughing, joking and talking with them both, each giving me run downs of the aids I will be using today. As we approached the cattle, Harry turned " Seth and Embry I want you t' take either side an' Sam I want you at the back of th' herd with Bella and show her what she needs ta do." As he said this, I inwardly groaned, I had carefully avoided Sam whenever I could; however at times like this, it was unavoidable.

**AN: **_**Sorry for the delays everyone, but RL got in the way, I promise you the story is not forgotten!**_

_**Please Review – They make me work faster!**_


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